New Therapy, Old Habits

So, I have started a new trauma therapy called Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing therapy (EMDR). Basically all this therapy does is help me reprocess the trauma I have been through so I can move on a live a life that has no struggles from the rape. However, when I go through this therapy it is like I am being re-traumatized all over again. Which sucks very much! 

The only problem that I have with this new therapy so far is my self-harm/suicidal ideals are coming back. I may or may not have self-harmed. But the suicidal ideals are not bad whatsoever. 

I have a decent support system. But i just wish i didn't have to go through this all over again. It is like I am restarting every single pain that I have been through and it is 50% worse! I am so sick of it all.