I have seen the light in many different ways recently. Whether it was from reading a book, talking with friends, listening in church, and even being on my own I was hearing, seeing, and understanding how bad I have been making choices and how much I need to change some things.
The book I am reading is called Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst. This book is so wonderful and I have only read to chapter 3 thus far. It shows how even though she is becoming emotionally stressed, she is learning how to control her emotions and not freak out, or come unglued, in these situations. Here are some of the things that have helped me in this book: "God gave me emotions so I could experience life, not destroy it." "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be the transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will (Romans 12:2)." "I can face things that are out of my control and not act out of control." "We can't always fix our circumstances, but we can fix our minds on God." and finally "Progress. Just make progress. It's okay to have setbacks and the need for do-overs - and again. Just make sure you're moving the line forward. Move forward. Take baby steps, but at least take steps that keep you from being stuck. Then changes will come. And it will be good." This book makes me realize that I can have a better life, I just need to set my mind on it then I can do anything with God!
Recently I have been talking with some friends and they were able to put things in a perspective to show me what wrong I am doing. The first conversation I had was with my friend Megan. Megan and I had an entire conversation where we switched places saying things to one another like the other would say. This show'd me how ridiculous I was acting towards my feelings and emotions. Also, she helped me see what advice she has been giving me the whole time really is helping and sinking in to my mind. I am so thankful to that conversation with her. Another conversation I had was with my friend Emily. She basically told me up front that I was rejecting God and I needed to stop. And once I stopped rejecting God that things will be much better. Emily also helped me realize that it is okay to take steps back, because I will continue to take steps forward everyday at a time. She has been a big help with many things that have been happening in my life and I really appreciate the conversations I have with her. The last person that helped me out recently was a friend named McGee. She gave me a not with many bible verses on it and it show'd me that God is here whether I see it or not. Megan, Emily, and McGee have been great joys in my life. I would never take the conversations and moments that I have with them for granted, and I will always remember them and try to take them to heart!
Listening in church on sunday morning, something in my gut told me to take notes, and I am sure glad I did! We were discussing Exodus 33:1-17. The topic of the sermon was What makes your people and what makes you so special? God is with you!!! Pastor Randy spoke on 5 different points on how to get there. Point one is that we need a recognition of our condition, this was described in Exodus 32:31-32. The second point is that we need repentance that values sense over cents, which means that we need to know God over material success. Point three is that we nee realignment of our assignment. This means that God comes in different ways, don't build an idol around him; love Jesus in all things and situations. The fourth point is that we need a relationship that won't be shipwrecked, which shows that our struggles are more than material, they bring a relationship with God. Also, Pastor Randy made me realize that the only relationship that matters is a relationship with God. Point five is that we need a reputation of Godly approbation, which basically means that God delivers in all things and in all ways. In the end of Pastor Randy's message he stated that God is, and must be, the MAIN PRIORITY.
I have even been able to see some things on my own on how ridiculous I am acting. Christian music has been a really good thing for me lately. The lyrics have really been sitting in my mind on how well I can accept God everyday and how much God is in my life! I am gaining a new respect for God. I have been rejecting him like my friend Emily said. But I have also been rejecting help from my friends, which was brought to my attention by Megan… I am turning my life around. It is a tough and rough thing to do but I know in the end God is guiding me in the direction that is good for me.
I am so thankful for the people in my life and I hope that the relationship that I am creating with not only God but with my friends here at college last a lifetime. At this moment I can not see my life without them! They are wonderful people and I love telling them that each and everyday!!!
Special thanks to Megan, Emily, McGee, Ruth, and Anna. I couldn't make it some days if it wasn't for them! I love them all so much!!!
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